Moon Healing and Vintage Book Talks
by Cliodna Queen of the Banshee
Summary: Kurenai makes a new resolution upon becoming Jounin. Gaara kills the wrong person one night. Our strangest decisions have a habit of coming back to us in the end. Starts in pre-canon Academy era. SasuHina, GaaSaku.
1. Two Announcements, Their Repercussions

Author's Note: Laptops are featured in the canon Naruto manga by series end. As are phones. Movies are also featured in the anime. Keep in mind that the most I am doing is speeding up the technological timeline slightly in this following section.

* * *

Moon Healing and Vintage Book Talks

Chapter One: Two Announcements, Their Repercussions

Gaara passed through a back alley that moonlit Suna evening, dark and shadowy, silent footsteps carefully tracing the trail through the sand, down the stone pathway, past the adobe and stone buildings in rounded shapes to his left, past the fencing on his right. The sands shifted softly in a slight evening breeze around him. In his final year of Academy level tutoring, Gaara was near silent and preferred the back streets where no one was.

He got less glares, less fear that way. He only passed through the main thoroughfares when he was in a killing mood.

Suddenly, he felt his sand make a shield behind him and he stiffened, his eyes widening. That meant… someone was attacking.

Another assassination attempt from Father.

He whirled around only to see a dark-haired male ninja in grey uniform try to retreat after the senbon he had thrown sunk themselves into the swirling sand wall guarding Gaara. Gaara felt fury rise up and choke him. Fury… mixed with anticipation.

Another chance to watch the light leave human eyes. Another chance to prove his existence.

With a slow, cruel smile, he threw out his hand and the sand enclosed around the ninja, lifting him into the air in preparation for a Sand Coffin. The man was struggling fruitlessly. He looked around and his eyes widened.

"No! No, get away!" he barked in distraught alarm.

Talking to a fellow ninja attacker, no doubt. Gaara closed his hand around the ninja's form… and a half-dome of sand came up to guard his deadly serious face as blood rained.

Then he heard a gasp and a sob… and the sand slowly lowered.

A little girl was standing there, sobbing, tears running down her face. "Daddy…?" she whispered, looking at the bloody remains thrown to the ground of what had been her father. She looked up at Gaara…

Not with angry or afraid eyes. But with big, accusing ones. For a moment, he saw the trauma of his own killing of Yashamaru all those years ago reflected in her face, and he saw what he had become.

And Gaara wasn't supposed to be human. This wasn't supposed to affect him.

But deep down, something inside him… snapped.

* * *

Rasa, Gaara's father, lay back against his pillow in sober pondering. He was on a raised platform, on a cushion, dressed in Kazekage robes, hidden from all who served him behind several screens. It was a useful facade… it kept up an illusion of god-like untouchability.

Rasa's children, of course, were subject to the same rigor as everyone else.

But this time it was Rasa's children who were the problem.

Baki, a solemn, dark-skinned, muscular man, deadly loyal with a deep voice and one of his top advisors, knelt on the lower level behind the screen before him. Rasa could see the shadow of his figure through the screen, every bodily movement always distinct in case of sudden attack.

"… Gaara still hasn't left his quarters?" Rasa confirmed seriously at last.

"No. He saw the attacker's daughter, and…" Baki sounded bewildered at the reaction. "It should not have affected him," Rasa heard Baki say softly. "He is not human."

Rasa didn't bother to correct him. To do so would have been counterproductive to Rasa's ultimate purpose.

"I want a full report, Baki. What is going on with him?"

"He… his sand is swirling madly around his quarters, but no one can get in. He has locked all his doors. We think he may be causing the sandstorm that has been raging in Suna for days. People hear strange sounds, even sobbing, behind the door. He hasn't eaten. We know he hasn't slept.

"Everyone who tries to come in, he injures… but no one has been killed, that's what's odd. It is unusual for Gaara, in the state he is in. But the point is… no one can get close.

"His siblings are… worried," Baki added cautiously, as if worried himself as to how Rasa would react to this piece of information.

Instead, Rasa sighed. "I had thought… that constantly attacking him would make him strong enough to handle being our perfect weapon. Perhaps I… miscalculated.

"Perhaps my story has become correct. Maybe he cannot be the perfect weapon, after all."

"You really want him killed this time?!" said Baki in surprised alarm.

"No," said Rasa irritably, absently, as if this should be obvious. "He is my son.

"So what to do…

"What if we sent him to another village? Fresh start? As a junior ambassador to whoever is already in charge of that village?"

"The obvious option would be Konoha, our biggest close ally…" said Baki cautiously. He sounded surprised. Rasa couldn't see his face. One of the only things he didn't like about the screen.

"Yes… Kind-hearted Konoha… What a sentimental fool I am when it comes to my children," Rasa mused, not entirely understanding the irony of his own words.

Then his next words rang out sharply, the old Kazekage returning:

"Get Konoha on the phone. I want to talk to the Third Hokage, and then the current adult Konoha ambassador. Now.

"And tell Gaara from outside his door… tell him no one there will be told anything about him," Rasa decided at last, frowning, troubled. "Maybe that will get him to come out."

* * *

The words pierced through Gaara's door and his mind haze. Temari's voice. She sounded desperately upset.

"Gaara, you're going to another village!"

Gaara paused… and all the sand in his quarters paused around him. He was curled up on the floor, clutching at his chest.

"Wh… what?" he said in a hoarse, shaky voice.

"You're going to become junior ambassador in Konoha village, alongside our senior ambassador, and you're going to become a ninja there instead. No one will know anything about you, Father has confirmed. You… no one will try to kill you, and you won't have to kill anyone."

There were actually tears in Temari's voice.

Gaara's mind spun. "He is sending… his failed experiment… away," he whispered, his eyes widening. "Too much liability, but too hard and expensive to kill…"

Another village. No one would know anything about him. No one would try to kill him. He wouldn't have to kill anyone.

He might never see this hateful place again.

"Look, you - you gotta come out, man." Kankurou sounded actually worried. "You're making a trip to Konoha. You have to eat something."

Suddenness pierced through Gaara's mind like a kunai throw. He was going somewhere. He had a trip. He stood jerkily.

"Alright, I'm… I'm coming," he said, his mind still… spinning.

He was coming. He was coming. To a place he had never been before.

A place he had always scathingly been told was full of greenery, and kind. Nothing like harsh, strict desert Suna.

What… would this even be like? Those people, they would really know… nothing, of his inhumanity?

* * *

Gaara stood in front of the Hokage's massive office desk. This Kage, a little old wizened man in robes with a wood pipe, sat at a simple desk set before windows and looked him straight in the eye. Beyond and below were the white spires and swirling shapes and colors of Konoha… and the greenery. Greenery everywhere. Cool, clear forest air.

Gaara's gourd of sand was strapped to his back. The senior Suna ambassador stood beside him.

"I have been told you are used to tutoring…" the Third Hokage mused. "Here, you will go into our senior, final-year Konoha Ninja Academy class instead. When the time comes, you will be added on as an extra to one select three-person Konoha Genin team."

"Understood," said Gaara coldly, standing stiff and looking straight ahead.

The Suna ambassador looked unsurprised, but the Third Hokage seemed weirdly… concerned.

"Gaara. I am your leader now," he said. Gaara held back his contempt. But then: "And I will treat you like one of my highly valued ninja. I worry about you. I do hope you will… level out. Connect with others."

Gaara frowned in bewilderment.

Yes. Konoha was indeed a strange place.

* * *

Gaara stood beside Umino Iruka, a cheerful young man with a brown ponytail, who had yet again treated him with bizarre kindness. Gaara now faced his new… classmates, he supposed, who were all in tiered rows in the Academy lecture hall before him.

"This is our new student Gaara, of the Kara clan, a transfer to Konoha," said Iruka with absurd pleasantness. Konoha cared greatly for clan names. He supposed he was Kara Gaara now. "He is our new junior Suna village ambassador, an assistant to the senior. The Kazekage's youngest son, given to our village to become a Konoha ninja. I hope you will all treat him with respect."

"Ha! No one ever treats me with respect!" Uzumaki Naruto, class clown extraordinaire, shouted loudly from his seat. Gaara's eyes narrowed… but he pushed back the old desire to attack.

That little girl's face still stood stark and clear, surprisingly disturbing, in his mind.

"That's because you're an idiot," said Haruno Sakura, bossy and brainy, with crippling bluntness from beside him. Naruto's face lit up in indignant protest.

"Hey, don't be like that, Sakura-chan…!"

But Uchiha Sasuke had snorted quietly, scathing and dark and silent, dour and handsome, and Sakura turned around to him beaming eagerly on her other side. Yamanaka Ino, popular and crafty, immediately pushed herself in between Sakura and Sasuke from the seat above.

"I'm funnier than Forehead Girl," Ino declared.

"Shut up, Ino-pig!" Sakura shrieked.

Sasuke was now not the only one who looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. Gaara in his own stoical, hard to read, loner way seemed similarly skeptical.

Naruto was watching Sakura, frowning and longing. Hyuuga Hinata, a wallflower unnoticed by everyone, fiddled with her fingers and stared after Naruto with timid shyness and almost equal longing.

"Gaara, please take your seat, because we have one another announcement to make," said Iruka politely.

Gaara walked slowly and quietly to a seat in the back and top of the lecture hall, setting his gourd down beside him.

"Our next guest… is a new Konoha Jounin her own right, a full adult." Iruka smiled mischievously. "Please welcome… genjutsu specialist Yuuhi Kurenai!"

All the girls gasped and looked on in envious awe as the woman walked in. At first glance, Yuuhi Kurenai seemed everything a kunoichi was supposed to be: tall, glamorous, and curvy, sensual in a wrap dress with long thick curls of black hair, gleaming red lips, and brilliant, striking, dangerous crimson eyes. She had a low, smoky voice and when she stopped in front of the class and spoke, her smile was kind but her eyes were serious and watchful.

"Hello, everyone," she said. "Some of you have seen me before. I used to teach part time here back when I was a Chuunin, and my father is Academy headmaster."

"You do illusions?!" said Inuzuka Kiba eagerly, loud and brash with his barking dog fighting partner beside him.

"That I do," said Kurenai, nodding and smiling. "I am a brand new Jounin level kunoichi, and to celebrate, I thought I would do something very particular. Iruka, do I have the floor?"

"You do," said Iruka, nodding, standing back and smiling. "I heard the idea and I thought it was fantastic. It's a wonderful opportunity."

"So." Kurenai clasped her hands together and smiled before them. "This particular offering is for the women in the class. Women are noticeably lesser in the Konoha forces, and are especially absent in the higher ranks.

"I have decided that must change.

"Therefore, each of you will come into the counseling office for a single mentor session with me. If you'd like, I can then mentor you further, but only one session is required. I will try to help you and make the case to make you a stronger kunoichi, and a more well rounded individual outside of issues like romance.

"I want more women to be like me. The meetings will take place over the course of the following week, and for budding kunoichi. Please let me help you.

"Thank you."

She gave a slight bow and stepped back. A buzz of excited chatter suddenly erupted in the classroom. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata all looked… surprised, awed, and curious.

* * *

Ino had her meeting with Kurenai first. She sat down across from Kurenai in the counseling office. Nothing was between them; they sat in two chairs, facing each other.

"You're going to tell me to give up romance, aren't you?" said Ino, tossing her ponytail of platinum blonde hair in an all knowing sort of way.

"Oh, no, Ino," said Kurenai steadily, surprising her. "I will tell each girl in turn: who you like romantically is your business. Just because a woman is in love, that does not make her weak.

"My point is that you should also have an outside life not defined by romance and strong shinobi skills. So that is what we will be working on.

"I will make this even easier on you. I will help you find a way to channel your interests through the virtual world so important to people of your age group. More than that, I will help you do that channeling in a creative way. I personally find creativity to be important.

"So - a creative, virtual hobby that showcases your interests. And stronger shinobi skills.

"What are your current shinobi skills, Ino?"

"Well… I'm learning the Yamanaka body hostage takeover through mind…" Ino said slowly, and then winced.

"That is it? And how useful would that be in battle, compared to something like long distance body control, long distance mind reading, and long distance mind attack or manipulation?"

"Not… very…" Ino admitted sheepishly, ducking her head.

"This is your hint. An attractive kunoichi is a strong one. You could do better, I think, in training with your father, could you not, Ino?"

For once, Yamanaka Ino had nothing to say. She looked a little ashamed of herself.

"I… don't have any excuse. My father does want to help me. I'm not untalented. I don't even need you for training," she admitted at last. "I guess… I guess I just always found popularity and boys to be more… important."

Kurenai was unreadable for a moment. "Understandable," she said at last. "But remember: you are a ninja first. Now tell me. What is your favorite hobby?"

"Shopping," said Ino, perking up.

"You like fashion."

"Yes!"

Kurenai smirked. "So to go with your growing crafty, mind manipulation Yamanaka battle skills… what about fashion blogging?"

Ino slowly… perked up in interest.

* * *

Sakura came next.

Kurenai gave her the same beginning talk, and then their thoughts turned to what Sakura could do better. Sakura looked curious, thoughtful.

"I don't have any family shinobi abilities," was the first thing she said. "I'm a rookie in the truest sense. That's why I'm not stronger."

"Well, what are you good at?" said Kurenai intently, interested. "Best Academy scores, for example."

"I'm the top of my class in intellect grades," said Sakura proudly. "And… oh! Also, I have insanely high scores in chakra control."

Kurenai paused.

"Have you considered…. genjutsu? What I do?"

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise.

"Genjutsu uses finely honed chakra to manipulate the opponent's cerebral nervous system, and give them detailed, intelligent images, sounds, and sensations that are not in fact real. The genjutsu user then usually attacks from elsewhere while their opponent is distracted and purposefully fighting something unreal, either before or after exhausting the opponent with the genjutsu illusion."

"That… sounds awesome," Sakura admitted, frankly impressed.

Kurenai nodded and smirked. "If you are willing to be trained by me… I can personally help you with that."

Sakura gasped and brightened, delighted. She nodded so fast her head looked like it was about to bob off. "Okay!" she said eagerly.

All she'd needed was for someone to give her a training chance, all along.

"Now, let's turn to your hobbies," said Kurenai. "What are you deeply interested in?"

"Well, I like puzzles… but there's no real way to make that a creative, virtual hobby…" said Sakura slowly, finger to her lips. Kurenai seemed to silently agree. "I like… books, ideas…"

"That's a good one! You like books. Do you also like the political and philosophical ideas behind the books?" said Kurenai immediately.

"Yes!" said Sakura, smiling with certainty.

"Book and political blogger. Definitely for you. Does that sound good?"

"It does," Sakura admitted.

"Okay. Then next. I asked Ino this same thing: Do you want to be public or anonymous? She chose public."

"Oh… that sounds like Ino, but I'm not Ino," Sakura admitted, in a moment of vulnerable genuineness looking down and smiling a little sadly. "I'd… like to be anonymous."

She looked up firmly, nodding once.

"Alright," said Kurenai. "Anonymous book and political blogger it is."

* * *

Hinata's meeting was last, and she sat down timidly across from Kurenai. She was given the same spiel, but her expression was painfully downcast and she did not seem as comforted as Ino and Sakura had been.

"What's wrong?" said Kurenai, frowning.

"It's just…" Hinata looked down, fiddled with her hands, and whispered. "I've been trying to train in my clan abilities for years… I'm just very weak… Too kind, not fierce enough…

"And… I feel too shy to really do anything creative online."

"Let me see," said Kurenai, sympathetic and assessing. "The Hyuuga specialize in all seeing X ray Byakugan eyes and the Gentle Fist, a graceful taijutsu style involving soft and deadly touches to vital areas with highly controlled chakra bursts. Yes?"

Hinata nodded timidly. "C… Correct."

"Then your problem… is psychological." Kurenai nodded. "I can help you with that, too!"

Hinata straightened in surprise.

"One of my specializations is psychology." Kurenai smiled mischievously. "Once I have decided to personally tutor you, I can train you in how to be a fiercer, more confident, more skilled, and deadlier opponent.

"It is all in the mind, Hinata. As a psychology expert, do you trust me? To help you without turning you into a monster? I promise, it is possible."

Hinata paused… and then nodded slowly, eyes wide, surprised, and awed.

"Very good," said Kurenai, straightening. "You will be impressing that skeptical family of yours in no time."

Hinata looked skeptical of this herself, but she had agreed and she chose to say nothing.

"So - what are your interests?"

"Crafting," said Hinata softly, becoming more comfortable at last with Kurenai. She looked curious. "Flower pressing, making herbal remedies…"

"So you like herbs and little crafty activities. And you strike me as a very soft-spoken, healing person. It is a good thing," she said, smiling, when Hinata began to look downcast. "Not a bad one. Self acceptance is the first step on the road to true strength.

"Have you considered a particular kind of healing - an ASMR channel?"

Hinata paused, considering. "Could I be… anonymous?" she asked at last, tentatively.

"Certainly. Just never show your face to the camera. Show your hands doing something instead, for example," said Kurenai, smiling kindly. "It is perfect for you - healing, calming, and soft spoken. What do you think?"

"… I think," said Hinata at last frankly, "that if you could both help me with that, and help me to be a stronger Hyuuga kunoichi… that would be a great feat indeed."

Kurenai smirked. "I like a challenge. Let's try it," she said playfully.

* * *

And so, even as the girls' stronger ninja training began, the websites went up.

Hinata's was Soft Moon ASMR. The website channel aesthetic was filled with gentle, imaginative Neverland and Alice in Wonderland themes, fanciful pictures in soft and gentle pastel colors.

She was anonymous, as promised.

Sakura's book and political blog was Vintage Girl Talks. It was in classy black and white colors and lettering with little bits of princess and natural flairs.

No one would know who either girl was.

Hinata started making videos. Sakura started blogging. Meanwhile, they had both begun ninja training separately… with Kurenai.

On different days, each girl stood nervous and determined across a training field from Kurenai.

"Let's begin," said Kurenai to each separate girl, looking deadly precise, eyes narrowed.

* * *

Gaara sat in the back of the class, wary. He talked to no one, remaining a stoical and hard-faced loner. He didn't trust anyone, and wasn't sure what to make of this new Konoha kindness.

But without his goal of killing people anymore, he felt lost. He was suddenly immersed in an entirely foreign culture, a kind and accepting but also economical one, in a foreign landscape filled with trees, with no family with all the good and bad that entailed, and he had no idea what to do about it.

He kept his head down and aced his Academy work, but he had never been in a normal classroom full of people who didn't care about him before, being used to tutoring, and deep down he felt like he was swimming.

And everything else about the Academy remained surprisingly predictable and unchanged. Naruto was the class clown. Sakura was the bossy brainiac. Sasuke was the dour and silent, handsome one. Hinata was the shy wallflower. Ino was the crafty popular girl.

Ino and Sakura liked Sasuke. Naruto liked Sakura. Much more secretly, Hinata liked Naruto. Sasuke, determined to be alone, refused to like anyone.

It would take a while, for the differences to begin to show themselves. And interestingly?

The first differences didn't exactly start in the classroom.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't sleep one night.

He tossed and turned, but it was one of those nights. Not a night of normal insomnia - Sasuke didn't have those. No, this was a night when the empty, echoing silence of the Uchiha Compound ate away at him, when in the shadows and darkness around his pallet he was consumed by the ghosts of horrific images and memories.

His brother had his bloody sword lifted above their parents' bodies in front of him.

Sasuke growled in frustration and turned away with a thump on his bed, trying to get that damn image out of his head. He had to sleep right now! He had school tomorrow!

Finally, he sighed and gave it up as a bad job, opening his laptop. Not sure what to type, finally he Googled, "Insomnia Remedies."

A list of ASMR videos popped up. He clicked through some… and it took a few contemptuous tries. He didn't connect with any of the videos that appeared first. He was about to give this up, too, assuming it was just another dumb fad -

He clicked on one last video link.

It was a girl, someone who went by the moniker of Soft Moon - the channel being a Neverland and Alice in Wonderland sort of affair full of fanciful images and pastel colors. She never showed her face - which was interesting all in its own right. She seemed young, like him, but all he saw were a pair of pale, graceful hands. He couldn't even recognize her voice. He'd already realized that ASMR voices and regular speaking voices were sometimes totally different.

"Flower arrangement," the soft, soothing voice began, "is often thought to be a female art, but in olden times some of the best at arts like flower arrangement and tea ceremony were in fact male. So tonight, I will be teaching anyone of both sexes more about the ancient art of arranging flowers…"

And her soothing, soft voice took him through the basics, and he watched her graceful, soft, pale hands move… And slowly… he fell into a mesmerized state…

The video ended and he looked up, taking a deep breath. He was… weirdly calm. And the specters were gone. All he was left in was a dark, empty nighttime bedroom.

He felt much more ready to sleep, and decided this warranted a rare foray into communication. With genuine gratefulness, he typed in the comment box, "I don't usually watch these sorts of things, and I don't usually comment on videos, but this was superb." He paused, then added: "I was caught up in memories and nightmares tonight, and this really helped me. Thank you."

He clicked Send.

To his surprise, he got a response. She must be up, too, after having finished editing and posted the video.

"You're welcome! :) It makes me glad I could help, so you have given me a great gift too. Thank you."

He smiled a little, feeling unusually warm. This girl… she seemed nice. Whoever she was. Unusually kind. Used to abrasive personalities and strict expectations, he found this, too, to be oddly soothing.

Feeling bold, he opened a private messaging communication with her. "Are you a Genin? You seem my age."

A little to his surprise, she responded. Her channel seemed fairly new. Perhaps that was why. Or perhaps she was just… open to communicating. "I'm in my final Academy year. Are you a Genin?"

"No. Final Academy year as well."

She seemed to take him in stride. It probably helped that she had no idea who he was and couldn't see his face. So she wasn't fawning all over him.

"Well, I don't know what nightmares brought you to my channel, but thank you for your kind words. You are a boy?"

"How did you know?"

"Well, you are anonymous but you carry lots of videos of male punk rockers. So either you are a boy, or you have several celebrity crushes."

Sasuke snorted despite himself and smirked. "Yeah, I'm a guy. As for the nightmares… I was remembering my family dying."

"I am sorry. So young." Oddly enough, she seemed sorry.

He felt weirdly like he wanted to talk about it. "I guess you get this a lot. People who come to you telling you their problems. It must get annoying."

"Not as often as you might think, so far. And I don't mind. I like feeling like I can help people."

"Why the interest in helping?"

"Well… I am from a very strict clan. Harsh expectations. I am very kind and not a natural talent, at least not compared to my sister. So I always feel like everyone is a little disappointed in me. I feel inferior, weak. But I have come to value my kindness lately. And I like helping people. When I help people… I don't feel so useless."

Sasuke was a little taken aback by the honesty.

"Kindness isn't weakness. It's perfect for lots of different parts of being a ninja, from team cohesion to healing abilities. No offense, but your clan sounds dumb."

"… Thank you. :) I am trying to get stronger!"

"So am I. I guess I had a childhood background similar to yours. Big clan. Always feeling weak, inferior, like a disappointment. Always being shown up by my brother. Then my brother killed our clan and went rogue. Missing nin. I was so blinded by envy and admiration, I hadn't noticed him becoming unstable from all the pressure of having to be perfect. So now I have to get stronger - to defeat him, and avenge my clan."

He regretted sending the message immediately after sending it, and so added, "Sorry. Probably too much information. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable."

"No, not at all!" she messaged back quickly. Then: "… That sounds very hard. To be always trying to best someone invisible, who you always remember as being better than you at everything."

No one had ever put it to him that way. He had a weird lump in his throat. What a bizarre place to find a connection. "… I guess. I don't know, I try not to think about how 'hard' it is or isn't too much."

"I might have to take that advice." Then: "I think you'd make for a good ANBU agent."

Sasuke paused - and surprised himself by smiling a little. "You don't even know me."

"But I know people. I have a good feeling about people."

Sasuke's smile widened despite himself. "Thank you. Sorry about all the serious stuff. So you noticed my music?"

"I'll talk ASMR, crafty arts, and herbs if you talk punk rock music."

He paused for a split second. "… Deal."

Maybe sleep could wait till another night after all. There was a strangely intimate new connection to be had.

He had a whole beginning channel's worth of videos to get through anyway.

* * *

Gaara never slept. He couldn't - the demon he was surprised his father had given up made sure of that.

But one night he was alone in his room in Suna ambassador quarters, and he was on his computer. He never slept, and so he always had to find other ways to occupy his time.

Tonight, he had a specific mission. He was looking up Konoha viewpoints to read about. He was still trying to find his way around this bizarre, neutral, kind new place.

He found a blog - Vintage Girl Talks - a classic, chic black and white lettering sort of affair with princess and natural aesthetic elements. He clicked through some posts, most of them concerning Konoha literature and politics… and he started reading.

After a certain point, he realized on an intellectual level he had a certain respect for this girl. She was intelligent. She was very different from him - much more idealistic - but as he slowly began to see Konoha through her eyes, he realized that was kind of the point.

Whoever this girl was, she was somewhere in Konoha - and opinionated, emotional, sensitive, brilliant, forward, and idealistic, from humble clan beginnings, she was a Konoha girl through and through. He realized after a while that she also had to be at least a training ninja.

He was surprised when he saw a brand-new post suddenly pop up on her website screen. She was awake, like him. He read through the latest post - and then made an oddly tentative, thoughtful comment:

"I have been dealing more with Konoha for diplomatic reasons, and this blog helped me see things in more perspective. So thank you. Keep it up."

He had already made an anonymous account and followed the blog.

She replied almost immediately: "Thank you! That's perfect for this, I'm glad I could help! Anything in particular stick out to you? Go ahead and message me if you'd like."

He paused at the invitation - shrugged and opened a message box. More than anyone else in Konoha, she truly didn't know who he was. Why not?

"I was particularly interested by your portrayal of Konoha culture through fiction. I like a lot of what might be called darker movies - gritty crime, horror - I'm one of those guys, which I guess could be considered a stereotype. Anyway, there are some Konoha movies I now have to look through. You're a ninja, right?"

"Oh, I could talk for hours about book to movie adaptations! In any case, yes, I'm in my final year of Academy training - in Konoha, obviously. I'm studying genjutsu."

… Genjutsu.

"I'm in the same year. Illusions. One of the only types of abilities that has a chance at besting mine. Fooling someone into putting all their ammunition into thinking they're attacking something they're actually not. Impressive. How good are you?"

"Starting out. You're pretty confident in your abilities."

"My abilities are one of the only things I'm good for."

"… That sounds concerning. Explain?"

Well. That was forward and honest.

How did he explain this without giving away who he was?

"My father tried to kill me continuously from a young age, all the while training me furiously in shinobi abilities. I am from a big family. So I was simply always becoming stronger. I have only recently gotten out from under the thumb of my family."

"So in diplomatic situations… you feel a little lost." She seemed surprisingly understanding and sympathetic.

"To put it mildly," he wrote dryly. "I used to kill anyone who hurt me, without thinking. I gave that up, too… when I realized one night I didn't want to be hurting people in the same way they'd hurt me. Now I don't know what to do."

He realized what he'd sent and added sharply: "My apologies. This was inappropriate and too much information."

"No, no, don't be sorry at all! To try to change yourself like that under those kinds of circumstances… I think that's really admirable."

"You are definitely a Konoha ninja. Thank you, but you are treating me like I'm human."

"I haven't seen any evidence to the contrary."

She had never met him, but this still made him feel oddly… warm. "That is… considerate and thoughtful of you, I must admit."

"Thanks. I'm trying hard, because I haven't had any experiences anywhere near yours. My parents are always fighting, and I was bullied as a little girl, but that is nothing compared to what you've gone through."

The thought of this girl being bullied made him feel oddly angry. "You should never put up with someone who treats you badly. And don't belittle your experiences."

Then, his next message "I was bullied too. The isolating kind."

"It's lonely, isn't it?"

He swallowed back a sharp breath of surprising emotion. "… Yeah. It is."

"I was saved by someone who became my first friend. We had a big fight since and we don't get along anymore, but I guess I'm still grateful to her…. Huh. Thanks. You made me realize something about myself as well."

"… You are welcome." He was surprised. "Human self discoveries are not something I'm usually good at helping with."

"Maybe with your new resolutions you're improving!"

"…. Maybe." He remained skeptical. Or maybe she was just a kind person.

To his surprise, she sent him a laughing face. Then she added mischievously, "So… about those book to movie adaptations… how good are you in debate?"

He smirked at the screen, a little amused despite himself. "Bring it on."

And so a rousing debate began.

* * *

The next day, four people never revealed it, but each of them was wondering about one other. Gaara was still thinking about Vintage Girl. Sasuke was still thinking about Soft Moon.

Hinata was still thinking about the boy she had talked to last night. He was trying hard despite facing impossible odds, not unlike Naruto, but she could connect more to this boy and some of his experiences the way she never could have with Naruto's. They had talked kindly. Each valued something they didn't have in the other. He had supported her even in the face of her clan, seemingly without fear though they had never met. He could even understand what it was like… feeling ignored, dark, silent.

Sakura was still thinking about the boy she had talked to last night. Intelligent, deadpan humorous, and dark but trying to reform, he had a lot of the things she prized most. That he was from a huge clan and seemed very confident in his ninja abilities did not help her constant thoughts at all. But surprisingly, unlike Sasuke, he seemed to value her opinions and had validated her own experiences - even though they were not like his. He could understand being a bully victim, her greatest secret. And he was a surprisingly good communicator and an excellent debater. His mind was active, lively, and razor sharp.

The first boy was not Naruto. The second boy was not Sasuke.

But in each case, in some ways they seemed more intoxicating than Sakura and Hinata's actual, real-life crushes. The problem was… each of the four assumed they had never met.

And so everyone went back into the normal Academy classroom dynamic and acted like nothing had happened.

But as Sakura and Hinata sat down at their desks that morning… each girl found a slip of paper folded inside there. On the paper - was Kurenai's next training meeting at an empty training field with them.

Kurenai seemed deeply invested in both girls getting stronger.

And so Sasuke said little to Hinata in real life - and Sakura said little to Gaara. Their connection, for the time being, remained virtual and anonymous.


	2. Getting Stronger

Author's Note: A major emphasis on the girls themselves this chapter, but more interpersonal drama and romance will feature again next chapter, not to worry. The small things that do happen in pairing and Academy life here will actually become rather important later. I'm trying to keep up a realistic pacing. Till then, enjoy the girls growing as people and kunoichi. Anyway, we got a lot of the boys last chapter, so here is some more of the girls.

* * *

Chapter Two: Getting Stronger

It happened slowly over the following weeks - people started to see less of Sakura and Hinata at the Academy.

With Hinata it was less noticeable. She had never been noticed much in the first place, so she simply seemed more checked out than she used to be - even looking over at Naruto quite a bit less.

With Sakura, the change was more marked - Sasuke and Ino watched in private puzzlement as Sakura slowly drifted away and became distant from her crush and rivalry. She even scolded Naruto less than she used to, though she showed no more interest in him.

Neither girl was doing these things intentionally. They were simply caught up in what was going on outside their classroom for the first time.

Their training with Kurenai had become fairly intense.

* * *

Genjutsu training was hard for Sakura at first, because all genjutsu training started with the ninja becoming an expert in how to break out of another person's genjutsu.

She would walk out onto the field and would immediately be blasted with surreal worlds and horrific things. She saw her parents set on fire before her, Sasuke shot through with a spear, and even Ino screaming in pain and covered in blood disturbed her. Still other genjutsu were weirdly like a particularly disturbing acid trip.

And she would always - always - shriek and pass out.

Kurenai would wake her up and kneel down next to her. "Why do you always show me such horrible stuff?" Sakura grumbled, embarrassed, sitting upright in the middle of the training field and clutching at her aching head.

"Because as a genjutsu user, you have to overcome fellow genjutsu users who are going to target your psychology in the same way I just did," said Kurenai simply.

"Nightmare fuel."

"You must remain calm," Kurenai maintained. "That's all there is to it. Sakura… how much are you eating?"

Sakura looked over, startled - and a bit nervous. "Er - why?"

"Because most people's reaction to something disturbing is not to pass out. It's to have a breakdown. But you're on a diet. You're starving yourself, aren't you?"

Sakura looked down. Finally she said in a tiny voice, "I want to look good for Sasuke-kun."

"… You already do," said Kurenai quietly.

Sakura sighed. "That's such a Mom thing to say," she despaired quietly.

"Look," said Kurenai, "more to the point, the best diet is healthy food and good exercise. You will still feel healthy, but without the bad effects."

Sakura looked up curiously. "Bad effects?"

"Sakura, imagine if you overexerted yourself and passed out in the field," Kurenai pointed out. "You work out a lot as a shinobi. If you keep going like this, you could die." Her voice was solemn.

Sakura paused - and then nodded, determined. "Okay," she admitted. "I'll give your way a try. I'll eat healthy and exercise more instead. See if that works."

She'd sounded dubious… but Sakura ended up ceasing to pass out and she ended up feeling a lot better. She continued with Kurenai's advice, and began to trust in her mentor just that little bit more.

Maybe the only way to look good for a boy wasn't to go on a diet. Interestingly? When she was healthier, Sakura felt better about herself and the way she looked, too. Some of the constant internal self criticism… ceased.

Slowly, she learned to remain calm and break out of disturbing genjutsu, not have a meltdown in front of them. Then Kurenai started quizzing her in realistic-looking genjutsu with only tiny things wrong with the training field in front of her, and she had to discover the wrong details and break out of those.

She learned a good deal of psychology this way. Kurenai would lecture her in the different types of genjutsu and the different ways they targeted a victim. Sakura learned how to be not only emotionally calm on the battlefield, but psychologically strategical.

And off the battlefield, she remained herself. She did, however, start to become more level headed, observant, and thoughtful when it came to others.

And then, finally, came learning how to do genjutsu itself.

Even with her good chakra control and high intelligence, learning genjutsu was hard for Sakura. She started out with four basic things: putting the victim to sleep, making them feel as if they had bindings placed on them even though they didn't, confusing their senses so they couldn't see her physical attack coming, and exhausting an opponent through a deceptive run-around type genjutsu. Kurenai would also periodically give her fake ninja with certain details and force her to figure out what type of genjutsu would best target their psychology.

Sakura's genjutsu were awful at first. They were vague, all the details were mixed up, and just making them left her exhausted.

"This will build up your poor chakra endurance," Kurenai simply pointed out, giving nothing away.

Sakura also felt guilty fooling someone, which Kurenai said she had to get over. "We are ninja," said Kurenai. "Even Konoha ninja attack others. It's what we do. It's in our job description."

So after that Kurenai would make the fake ninja seem upset and would force Sakura to attack them with her pathetic genjutsu anyway.

Sakura was slowly improving… but it was a long, hard, and emotionally wrought process.

* * *

Hinata didn't have it much easier in the emotions department.

She knew how to fight with Gentle Fist and highly controlled chakra taps. She knew how to use her Byakugan all-seeing eyes. She had been training in these things for years. That wasn't the problem.

Her problem was psychological.

She would try to fight a Kurenai clone, but would be afraid irrationally of hurting the clone. Then she would do badly. Then she would lose confidence, begin hating herself, and do even worse, finally giving up altogether.

"This is your process," Kurenai explained, frustrated. "It's why all these years, you haven't improved. You're afraid of causing pain in a fight. So you do badly. Then you hate yourself and tell yourself 'I can't do this,' which is not in fact the problem. And because of that line of thinking, you give up.

"It's not even that you don't work hard. It's that you're afraid of fighting and you don't think you can do it."

So Kurenai targeted each step of the process.

"First, let's work on this: You need to let go of that fighting guilt.

"Let me be blunt with you, Hinata - as you are, sparring with you is more of a hindrance than a help."

Hinata gasped, her eyes widening, hurt.

"Let me finish," said Kurenai. "You are not a strong or fierce opponent, and when you spar, this actually means you're not challenging your opponent - you're not teaching them anything. That's all fighting with a fellow Konoha ninja means, no matter how fierce the battle gets. These fights exist so we can teach each other things.

"Right now, not only will you die when someone tries to kill you in battle, but an opponent who only fights you would as well. You're kind, so think of it this way: it's not just yourself you're hurting.

"The only way to keep your comrades from dying is by becoming a truly strong and worthy opponent."

This did solve Hinata's guilt problem. That part was fairly simple. But she still wasn't any good. She was frustrated, she gave up easily, and no matter how fiercely she tried, she was still a wimpy and flimsy fighter.

"I CAN'T DO THIS!" she screamed one day in the middle of a spar with a Kurenai clone, sound finally flying out of her, her eyes closed and her fists clenched.

Kurenai and her clone both paused.

"There we go. Now it's out in the open. You want to be strong."

"Yes!" said Hinata testily.

"But you don't feel you can be."

"YES!" Hinata exploded, as if at last, finally, Kurenai understood.

"So who could? Tell me the person who could do this."

"My cousin Neji. My sister Hanabi… Naruto-kun." Hinata whispered this part.

"Tell me what all those three people have in common."

Hinata looked startled. "Not much," she admitted slowly. "Neji and Hanabi are cold and talented, but Naruto-kun is warm, loud, and clumsy. I suppose… the only thing they share… is willpower," she whispered to herself, her eyes widening.

Kurenai was smiling. "In other words, the only thing they all have in common…"

"Is that they'd never give up," Hinata finished in a whisper. It made sense. She had admired that in Naruto, at least, all along. "It's not about talent. It's about never giving up."

"Hinata, I want you to do this," said Kurenai. "Every time your mind screams that at you: I can't do this! I want you to answer it with: Yes I can!

"Do not let those bad thoughts control you! That is the only thing that separates the people who can't do it from the people who can!

"So practice with me: You can't do this, Hinata! You're weak, made for the sidelines! You can't do this!" Kurenai shouted mockingly, sneering.

Hinata's fists bunched. "… Yes I can," she said quietly.

"You can't do this!"

"Yes I can!"

"You can't do this!"

"YES I CAN!"

"WHY?!"

"BECAUSE I NEVER GIVE UP!" Hinata shouted, her eyes hard and fierce… and the words echoed out into the silence between them in an iron voice.

Kurenai smiled as a look of awe slowly came over Hinata's face. "That… didn't even sound like me," Hinata whispered in wonder.

"See? You just never knew you had it in you," said Kurenai warmly. "Think of it as the new you."

So Hinata began answering that nasty voice in her head. I can do this! she began telling it testily. And slowly, she became a stronger, fiercer fighter, more hard and determined…

Without sacrificing the person she had been off the battlefield. She did, however, gain a good measure more of quietly smiling, sweet, calm self confidence.

It would have been nice if this had solved all of Hinata's fighting problems. But it didn't.

After that came the long, hard process of trying to become a Gentle Fist and Byakugan user on par with Neji. Hinata began trying to strengthen her Byakugan eyes and observational skills, up her speed and skills as a Gentle Fist fighter -

It was a long, hard process. She had a lot of catching up to do.

But slowly, she began to get stronger.

* * *

Kurenai decided Sakura and Hinata both needed a new look. "To go with your new outlook and shinobi skills," she explained cheerfully, distinctly big sisterly in that moment.

So in a final little ploy, she took the two of them out shopping around Konoha one sunny Saturday afternoon together.

Sakura and Hinata got along so well it surprised them both. They laughed and chatted, exchanged new training abilities and stories, and gave each other advice on what might look good in dressing rooms and hair salons.

Kurenai ended up purchasing both of their new looks for them.

Sakura got a short pixie cut with long front pieces layered into side bangs. "I grew out my hair long for Sasuke-kun," she admitted, shame-faced. "But I always have preferred it short and it would be so much more practical in the field…"

She was staring at the pixie cut in the hair salon magazine, torn.

"If he really likes you, he will like you even though you don't have long hair," said Hinata firmly. "Who wants to date someone who won't even look at a girl who doesn't have the right haircut, anyway?"

So Sakura ended up getting the hair-cut. (The reaction from Ino the next day at the Academy would be… noticeable.)

For a kunoichi outfit, Sakura chose a mid length button up red shirt dress with a tucked-in waist and a flowing bottom.

Hinata got the opposite help. Her hair was easy to decide on. "I'm going for a more mature look," she decided. The hair stylist helped her quickly grow out her hair long using a special chakra technique, until it was near waist length. Then she helped Hinata style it in long, loose, wavy curls.

But Hinata had to be talked into buying some clothes that were tighter and looked more flattering on her.

"I… I don't like how my body looks," she whispered, the old Hinata returning for a moment as she fiddled with her hands. "I'm really curvy and it makes me self conscious. That's why I wear baggy, neutral clothes."

"I'd kill to look curvy," said Sakura frankly. "I bet you have a rocking bod and you should totally show it off.

"Look, just try some stuff on in the dressing room and see how it looks, okay?" she said to Hinata's skeptical glance.

Hinata ended up… surprisingly, liking how she looked in different clothes, with much encouragement from Sakura and Kurenai. She chose for her new outfit a deep blue sweater over a light blue collared shirt, and grey-green cargo pants.

Practical, but cute.

After they finished shopping, they had lunch at a cafe, Sakura and Hinata preening themselves a little, resplendent in their new looks. Kurenai smiled secretively, but she said nothing.

They ended up moving from trading training stories… to trading stories of their respective creative virtual hobbies.

"I've surprisingly really been enjoying my anonymous ASMR channel," Hinata admitted. "It brings all my hobbies together - my loves of herbs, soft spoken healing, and crafty things. And it gives me… I don't know, a sense of identity, I guess, that I don't think I had before."

She sounded interested.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Sakura thoughtfully. "On my book and political blog, I love being able to use my brain. I guess I'd never been able to exercise it in that way before, and… I've really been enjoying it."

"I've been meeting some cool people, too," said Hinata, smiling warmly, thinking of the mystery boy she was still in contact and chatting online with in the evenings. "Through the channel, I mean!"

"Me, too!" Sakura added eagerly, thinking of her own mystery boy she was also still in online evening contact with.

"Have you told anyone about these new discoveries of yours?" Kurenai asked.

"Not really," Sakura admitted, as Hinata shook her head.

"Well, if you have nothing against the idea, you should try it," Kurenai encouraged. "Help can come sometimes from unexpected places.

"It's nice that you two seem to be becoming friends… but having other supportive people in your life is good, too."

* * *

So Sakura chatted online with her friend that night. They'd been talking for weeks… it surprised her that she realized she'd actually never mentioned her training to him. It was just such a big part of her life.

"My training is going well," she mentioned to him during their regular evening online chat.

"In what way?"

"Well, I've moved from breaking out of genjutsu and into creating my own… which is a slow process, but I'm getting there. I think part of my problem is psychological. Some of the more disturbing genjutsu that I was exposed to and had to break out of really got to me at first. And… now I feel guilty about the idea of tricking other people into my own," Sakura admitted, not sure how he would take this.

There was a pause. Then:

"That makes sense. You are a very emotional, kind person. I have been slowly learning that this is not a bad thing."

"Would you have this problem?"

"No," he admitted after a pause.

"What would you recommend, then? For overcoming the obstacle? I want to be a stronger kunoichi."

"That is… admirable," he said first, and there seemed to be genuine thoughtful respect in his tone. He had been many things so far, including her growing friend - but this was the first time he showed her respect as a shinobi and a kunoichi. "I would say that you are training to do this to someone who is going to try to kill you.

"Save your pity for people who aren't attempting murder. I had to take that view in a grimmer way, but it applies to you as well. As a shinobi… sometimes we have to pick the people we feel sorry for."

"… Thanks," said Sakura. "That's really good advice." And she meant it.

"Thank God. Emotional support was never exactly my strong point."

Sakura laughed out loud from her laptop in her bedroom, and she sent him a laughing emoji.

For the first time, he made a show of human emotion and sent her a smile in return. Even if it was virtual… this, too, meant something.

* * *

Hinata talked with her friend that night, too, in a similar way.

"Can I vent? It's a getting stronger thing," she admitted a little sheepishly.

A pause. "Okay. I'm curious. Go for it."

"Well, a lot of my training has been focused on psychology. I have a sensory bloodline ability and a clan taijutsu style. I've been training in them for years, so a lot of my problems were actually psychological."

"An inferiority complex thing."

"Essentially." She winced from over her laptop in her bedroom.

But all he said was a matter of fact: "It makes sense, from what you've told me about your past and what we have in common. Continue."

Hinata felt relief flood her. Acceptance, after all.

"Anyway, the hardest part you'd think would be over. I made it through the psychological testing and growth portion."

"Congratulations. That you would work hard enough to make it that far at all… is impressive." For the first time, there was respect for her as a shinobi and a kunoichi in his writing tone.

"Thanks. But now I have to play catchup from all the years my inferiority complex kept me weak. It's been slow-going and…"

"Frustrating?"

"Yes. Exactly."

"I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like I'll never catch up to the brother I have to kill."

"What do you do… when you feel that way?"

His answer was surprising: "I stop thinking about it. I just tell myself I have to be as strong as I can be in that moment. And I keep surmounting higher obstacles with that kind of mentality.

"I think you might be overthinking this."

"That… is good advice," she said. "Thank you."

"Always the tone of surprise."

Hinata giggled and sent him a laughing face.

"No, it makes sense," he continued in admittance. "You've been right, I do have the whole dark, silent thing going in real life. I'm not the most social person on the planet."

Hinata laughed louder in her empty bedroom.

She would only realize later that this was probably a surprising thing for a person like him to admit to someone. Even if they had been chatting as friends for weeks.

* * *

Sakura and Hinata finally pushed past those last big obstacles, and began really growing as kunoichi. Sakura as a budding genjutsu user. Hinata as a budding Hyuuga main family member. Their talent truly began to shine through.

They had overcome the hardest parts on their own merits. But their guy friends had supported them in that final push towards the top - and in the process, a mutual respect and trust had been come to in both cases.

Most importantly, Kurenai began having the two budding friends - Hinata and Sakura - begin sparring with each other during the same training sessions.

It was perfect, really. Hinata's eyes countered Sakura's genjutsu, but Hinata had to make her eyes work harder to see through Sakura's genjutsu. And Hinata was close distance while Sakura was long distance, so each had something important to teach the other about fighting.

Not only did Hinata and Sakura begin hanging out outside training sessions, but they became fierce battlers against each other during training sessions.

Kurenai stood, watching matter of factly as before her very eyes these two strong new girls fought a fierce battle in front of her…

But meanwhile, she had invited some hidden guests to watch this particular powerful spar.

Sakura's parents, Hinata's father, and Hinata's little sister Hanabi were watching wide-eyed from the surrounding training field forestry, through the leaves. And the girls were so busy with their fight that they hadn't noticed.

But finally, Kurenai called, "Halt!"

Sakura and Hinata separated and put their hands on their knees, bent over panting.

Then the families stepped out, and both girls froze.

"I invited some guests," said Kurenai, simply giving a small smile in response to the girls' wide-eyed looks.

The girls walked home with each of their respective families in stifling silence.

"Sakura, why didn't you tell us you've been getting so strong as a budding genjutsu user?" Sakura's mother said in despair at last.

Sakura ducked her head and braced herself for a scolding -

"That's so amazing! I'm so proud of you!"

Sakura's head shot up and she stared wide-eyed at her mother. "… Proud?"

"Yes, exactly!"

"We're very happy for you," said Sakura's father warmly, smiling. "You did well out there today. And fighting a Hyuuga on top of that!"

"Hey! I was busy congratulating her!" Sakura's mother snapped.

"Well, I was just -!" Sakura's father began defensively, and one of the usual warm, loud, rousing arguments began.

Sakura paused… and then smiled, despite herself. "You know… I love you guys," she admitted fondly. "No matter how exasperating you are."

"We feel the same way," said Sakura's father, smiling.

Sakura smiled back… then she processed the full implications of what he'd said and protested, "Hey!"

Sakura's mother laughed.

Meanwhile with the Hyuuga, things were a good deal quieter. Hinata's old self was back in full force. She walked with her head ducked, terrified and silent.

"… Hinata." Hinata jumped a little at her father's voice. "I do not know how that Kurenai woman broke through to you… but that was very well done."

His voice was muted, stoical, and dignified. He never looked away from the road ahead of him once. But the words were quietly warm, and very clear.

Hinata's eyes widened in wonder.

"Th… thank you, Father," she finally managed, amazed.

"You had better start fighting harder against me in spars," Hanabi added, lifting her chin. "Since you're fighting that strongly against someone without any clan abilities. I want to be able to fight the person I just saw on that training field."

Hinata looked forward, smiling, tears stinging her eyes. "… Understood," she whispered. "Yes. I will definitely fight harder from now on."

Her father and Hanabi gave her a sideways glance and a small smile.


End file.
